Below are the 20 most recent journal entries recorded in shappzero's LiveJournal:

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Monday, September 4th, 2006
10:42 am	Sorry about the Random bragging post, but I am excited and need to share this with the world. I got two firsts from Cambridge! Wooooot! That is all. (Comment on this)
Wednesday, May 3rd, 2006
10:55 pm	HAPPY BIRTHDAY BOBBY!! look forward to seeing you over the summer (Comment on this)
Thursday, December 22nd, 2005
2:22 pm	Good news This is just for informing those of you who keep up with this. I just found out that the people at Cambridge have worked out a way for us visiting students to have internet in our rooms. Huzza! (2 Comments |Comment on this)
Tuesday, December 6th, 2005
6:40 pm	I usually take these tests and don't post them. But this one I felt was necessary. Satan You scored 57% Pride, 55% Envy, 60% Ambition, and 55% Deceitfulness! You are Satan, the consummate villain, and the ascendant figure in the unholy trinity. Throughout history you have been called The Serpent, The Accuser, The Devil, Lucifer, The Prince of the Power of the Air, and The Dragon, among other things. Your “compatriots” in the unholy trinity, the Antichrist and the False Prophet, are merely pawns in your futile struggle with God. Though, they probably don’t know this. This is because you are a master of deception; indeed the Bible calls you “The Father of All Lies”. You are also very ambitious, and you strive to be in positions of the utmost authority. Unfortunately, it was impossible for you to obtain the highest title in heaven and this is part of the reason why you decided to leave. Of course, you couldn’t just leave by yourself, so you managed to use your deceptive abilities to get one third of the angels in heaven to join with you in revolt. God put down the rebellion and expelled you from heaven. To most people, it would seem foolish to start a war against God, but pride can sometimes cause people to do foolish things. In heaven, you were the most beautiful and powerful of all angels and you were well aware of this. Unfortunately, you let your pride consume you and your passions led you down the road to perdition. After you were expelled from heaven, you let another one of your attributes consume you—envy. You knew that you could never defeat God, but you could attempt to destroy humanity, his most beloved creation. Your goal is to bring as many people as possible to suffer in Hell with you. Fortunately for you, but unfortunately for the rest of us, you’ve been endowed with all of the attributes necessary (deceptiveness, confidence, ruthlessness, and ambition) to do a terribly good job at this. My test tracked 4 variables How you compared to other people your age and gender: You scored higher than 60% on Pride You scored higher than 65% on Envy You scored higher than 53% on Ambition You scored higher than 58% on Deceitfulness Link: The Which Biblical Villain Are You Test written by MetalliScats on Ok Cupid, home of the 32-Type Dating Test (Comment on this)
Saturday, October 1st, 2005
4:16 pm	Serenity I imagine this is pointless, as anyone who reads my livejournal will likely go see it anyway, but I feel a moral obligation as a devoted fanboy to tell everyone to go see the new movie "Serenity," possibly several times. I must say that in recent experience, movies have built up my expectations, only to leave me disapointed as I leave the theater, even if the movies were decent (the new Star Wars, though I would hardly call them decent, are an excellent example). About Serenity I had huge expections, the short run TV show was one of my favorite of all times, and the commercials and various teaser info had whet my appetite to a frenetic state. And I can say this, given these gigantic expectations, as I sat in the theater, I was still overwhelemed by the amazingness of this movie. Shot on a paltry $40 million dollar budget, the movie never feels lacking in effects (certainly there are places where they could have added some, but I was never left with the feeling "that could have been done better" which cannot be said of many movies with sevetal times that budget). The movie also lacks any stars, which I feel is a good thing, as it enabled Writer/Director Joss Whedon to explore the nuances of several of the characters, rather than having to focus on a single lead. Now, having already seen the TV show, the characters already had a degree of depth to me, but I still believe that Whedon did an excellent job in creating interesting and three dimensional characters in the 2 hours. This is not to say that all the characters are equally developed, Captain Malcom Reynolds (Nathon Fillion) is clearly the character focus of the movie, and side characters like Kaylee (Jewel Saite) are less than full fleshed (at least in terms of character development ;). The villian of the movie, a man known only as "The Operative" is excellent. He is the perfect foil to Mal, a man of Honor, who believes in the rightousness of the Alliance (the tyrannical government, think "empire" from Star Wars, but less overtly evil) as much as Mal detests it. As for Plot, Serenity does an excellent job of keeping the audience on the edge of its respective seats. The entire theater would gasp (or laugh) simultaneously as the plot unfolded. And, unlike certain other 2005 movies (The Island, cough cough) the commercials do not give away the totality of the movie, allowing the audience to be surprised as the plot unfolds (I will not reveal it here). Nor is the plot simply an excuse to string together a series of cool action sequences (don't get me wrong, there are plenty of cool action sequences), I found myself caring about the mission of the Serebity crew. The movie also avoids the trap of having the audience know that the good guys win. In most movies, no matter how extraordinary the circumstances, I, as a viewer, can be fairly confident that the good guys will survive. This is not the case in "Serenity", there is never a feeling of certainty that the Good Guys will win. There is also a subtle religious undertone in this movie, though to be quite honest I'm not entirely sure what it is. However, it can be seen when Book is talking to Mal about belief "I don't care what you believe in, just believe in something", and when the Operative describes people's sins. I think to fully understand this message I will probably need to see the movie again, possibly several times. Anyway, see this movie. Even for the uninitiated it's a fun ride (several of the people with me had little to no experience with the Firefly TV show on which the movie is based, and even they found the movie quite enjoyable). If you've already seen the movie, see it again, and pass it along to those who haven't (if enough people see it, they will make more, Joss has said as much) and remember, you can't stop the signal. Sorry for those of you who didn't care about that, but I was bored and felt like writting something other than a paper. (Comment on this)
Friday, July 22nd, 2005
11:49 am	I GOT INTO CAMBRIDGE!!!!!!! Current Mood: ecstatic (2 Comments |Comment on this)
Tuesday, May 3rd, 2005
3:41 pm	I feel like I've posted my name under this in enough people's journal's that I'm legally obligated to put it in my. I'll do it when I please and no sooner, so don't expect promptness. Also, as many of you know, I'm an asshole, so don't necessarily expect me to be "nice". Though if I put somehting mean, I'll try to put something nice and meaningful afterwards. I do garunatee that at least one person will find the word succubus if they post their name here, you know who you are :). 01. comment with your name and I will write something about you. 02. I will then tell what song/movie remind me of you. 03. I will try to name a single word that best describes you. 04. I'll tell you the most memorable moment I've had with you. 05. I'll then tell you something that I've always wondered about you. 06. Put this in your journal (15 Comments |Comment on this)
Tuesday, April 26th, 2005
4:35 pm	Pissed off at reality So I just called the organization through which I am going to apply to Oxford. It turns out, that despite what it says in the information book from them I have, the application deadline is May 15, not October 1st. Fortunately I still ought to be able to have my application in by then. However, I also learned that almost all of the colleges at Oxford are already full, given that they use rolling admissions. the girl at out study abroad office had told me this wouldn't be a problem. Only 2 colleges are now open, one of which I was warned not to go to under any circumstances. The other one already has twice as many applicants as it has spots, so my chances of getting in are rather low. My chances would be higher if I could send my application now, but I'm still waiting on one of my letters of recommendation. All in all I'm pissed. I'm pissed at the study abroad office here for giving me bad advice. I'm pissed at Butler for having poor information. But mostly I'm pissed at myself for being so slow about this and most likely costing myself the opportunity to go to Oxford. I'm fully aware that there are still other places I can study abroad next year, and I will in fact have to since I have no place to live second semester. However, I really had my heart set on Oxford. Bah Current Mood: pissed off (Comment on this)
Tuesday, October 5th, 2004
2:18 pm	back? So I managed to dig up the password and username for this thing, I don't expect I'll post anything substantive though, maybe random writings if I'm in a writing mood. Oh well, at least I remembered the info. (1 Comment |Comment on this)
Friday, December 19th, 2003
1:43 pm	And I'm off It's friday afternoon, and in less than 24 hours I should be en route to New Zealnd. In actuallity I should be in L.A. visitng my broth+er in 24 hours, since we have a layover there, byt even so that counts as en route. I hope everyone has a good break, and I'll miss you all while I'm gone. I'll try to send postcards and bring things back for people. Anyway, see you in a month, have a merry christmas, a happy chanukah, a crazy kwanza, a tip top tet, and a solem and dignified Romadon. Current Mood: excited (Comment on this)
Tuesday, December 16th, 2003
8:07 pm	gain I talked to my friend about my issues, I think we may have worked them out. We'll see. Current Mood: content Current Music: No More Running Away- Ben Taylor Band (Comment on this)
Saturday, December 13th, 2003
3:57 pm	There's gotta be a change I'm sure Today was just a day fading into another That can't be what a life is for -Counting Crows, Amy hit the Atmosphere Current Mood: blah Current Music: Counting Crows - Amy Hit the Atmosphere (Comment on this)
3:57 pm	stuff and more This probably qualifies as my first real journal entry, so here goes. First off, that one I said was at the bottom but other people said wasn't, turns out it was accidentally set to private, it's now been changed to public and exits for others to read. Also related to my inexperience in the use of this thing, I didn't realize that posting all of those papers would make other people's lives a hassle when they go to their friends screen, so I put it up for a vote, should I take them down, if you think I should put it in the comments of this post. Now that administrative stuff is out of the way, here goes the so called journaling. Last night was ok, Watched Howard the Duck with Adam, Beth, and Lisa, what a crazy movie. George Lucas really is an oddball. But it was a fun time. Unfortunately both Beth and Lisa were really tired after their allnighter the night previous, so Adam and I had to leave once the movie was over, made for a rather early night. Came back here and listened to music for awhile. Then I wnet with Lauren and got some pizza. Adam was too lazy to walk, so he wouldn't come with us. After getting the pizza we brought it back here and ate it in Lauren's room. Adam came down at that point. We hung out till about 2AM, then went our seperate ways. So there's the news, exciting isn't it. Ugh, I hate it when people who are your friends repeatedly won't even make the effort to have a conversation. Current Mood: meh Current Music: Rolling Stones (Comment on this)
Friday, December 12th, 2003
6:33 pm	an explanation since the journal runs from most recent to oldest, I should add this. From here backwards in time are old essays of mine, before this post the only other real post is the first one, all the way at the bottom. If you want to read the papers, feel free, but there's no paarticular reason to. If you don't want to, just skip all of the way to the bottom. (Comment on this)
4:45 pm	The last Paper Another english paper, I like it, you may find it boring. Plugged As I sit here in front of my computer, I cannot help but notice the tiny blinking lights that adorn a small box adjacent to the screen. Five lights, four green, and one orange, blink at me like so many tiny stars, emphasized by the darkening twilight. This box is no more than eight inches tall, and two wide. It too, must breath, like so many of us, but it breathes through little slits in the side, hoping to cool itself with the air. The most significant feature of this object however, is not a part of it; it gains its value from the thick cable to which it is attached. It is this cable that gives the modem its power, and from which flows the lifeblood of so many. The Internet is the new home of so many of my generation, and the fuel of the new economy. The future of my life or what my Friday night plans can emerge from this web of boxes; infinitely intertwined with connections and information. The most useful of sources, it can provide you with information about any topic, though it may not be correct. I have used it for every research project I have had since I learned of its existence, and it has never failed me. It is the preferred mode of communication amongst my age group, able to convey words in an instant; to anyone you wish to read them. The world now runs on the Internet, without it, we would have to return to that God-forsaken paper, searching for our information in libraries, and writing with pens. On the front of the modem, it says “surfboard,” a clever little name from the people at Motorola. It even has a little picture of a black and white surfboard above the written name. I have to wonder how many focus groups or marketing meetings it took them to come up with that. People in business sat around for hours, probably asking themselves, “How can we both give this a clever name, and convey its function.” Yet even this name does not truly convey the function of the device. We hardly “surf” the Internet, to surf you have to take what the ocean throws you. The modem is more of a boat with a giant vacuum, capable of moving to any of the seven seas, and sucking up whatever species of fish you desire, although, unless you’re really good at using it, you may have to stick to specifying the genus. As we continue our expansion into the wires, we must consider the costs as well as the benefits. What is the value of communicating with a blinking light? There is no emotion in our speech, we can go days without seeing each others faces, or hearing each others voices, and claim to have communicated. How can we do this when it has been proven that over half of all communication in our species is non-verbal, and we can’t even add intonation, other than the occasional italics or bold. Our species is the most social of any yet discovered, so why do we isolate ourselves behind walls of data and numbers? Why must we be able to find exactly and only what we need? There has been many a time when I was perusing a bookshelf, seeking a specific title, and chanced upon another by luck. It is these fortuitous discoveries which we are deprived by our computer’s precision. Even as we give our modems the ability and need to breathe, we must be sure that they’re not doing it as a replacement for us. (Comment on this)
4:42 pm	more etc... another psych paper, teacher gave me a C on this even though it met all of the criteria and displayed a depth of understanding that clearly outstripped her own (yes, I do think I could have tought psych better than the teacher, and on occasion did). The Class Reunion The following is a dialogue that could occur at a twentieth high school reunion. The names other than my own have been falsified for the sake of individual privacy. Bob: So, it’s been twenty years, I’m sorta surprised you’re not dead. I just keep hearing rumors about your life. Robert: I’m surprised to still be here myself, especially after getting drafted and fighting in Iraq, $&^$#@^%@ Bush. Bob: There was no way he could have predicted Sadam was going to use his stockpiles of chemical and biological weapons on the troops. Besides, you never even got that far, so goes what I’ve heard. Robert: It wasn’t my fault that there were still mines left in the ground from the first Gulf War. Fortunately for me, they make great prosthetic limbs now, so you can barely tell I lost my left leg. Anyway, I don’t feel like talking about it. How’s your family? Bob: They’re doing ok, we just had our fourth son, which is going to cause us some problems. Robert: Yeah, the new population control laws can hit you pretty hard for that. Will you be ok? Bob: We’ll manage, but it’ll be a struggle having family members rotated in and out of cryogenic storage. How about you? What’s new with your family? Robert: I ended up married to the girl I got engaged to for a couple of months back in ’02. Because of the war injury we can’t have any children, and you know what the population laws have done to adoption. Bob: Yeah, and the Soylent Green doesn’t even taste that good, the old people make it all stringy. Is it true what I hear about your new job? Robert: Quite, you’re looking at the new Chief Justice of the Supreme Court. Bob: Lotta good that does this day and age, the Constitution was dissolved under emergency powers 15 years ago. All you guys do is sit around and pretend we still have checks and balances. Robert: There is still honor in the title. But I know what you mean, it really disappoints me that my lifelong dream has become meaningless. Bob: Don’t feel too bad, think of all those suckers who wanted to be a part of Congress. Look what happened to them. Robert: Really, well, like so many people said, Democracy doesn’t work. I’m considering going into biotech, maybe change the world just a little. Bob: Yeah, you and your obsession with cloning babies. Robert: It’s perfectly legitimate in terms of research. Besides, maybe I can come up with a cure for the Creutzfeldt-Jakob epidemic. Bob: How did they manage to get that into bio-weapons? I thought you only got it from cannibalism. Robert: Don’t ask me, I didn’t build the weapons. Bob: Did you end up with PTSD (Post Traumatic Stress Disorder) after the war? Robert: I still wake up to the sound of shells and screams sometimes, but not as often as I used to, the Soma really helps. Bob: Just take a holiday? Robert: Like no other. Where you living these days? Last I heard you were in California, but you obviously moved. Bob: Yeah, we got lucky and got out just before the big quake, now all that’s left is LA, and that’s become a prison colony. We moved out to Oregon. Robert: Aren’t you afraid of the roaming tribes of mutants? Bob: No. We live with the Liebowitzian Monks, they protect us. Where you living these days? Robert: We live in one of the new tetra-plexes over the East Coast. Speaker: If everyone would please be quiet, we would like to start the evening with a speech from our ruler, Emperor Bush the Third. Robert: We’d better be quiet or we’ll get busted. (Comment on this)
4:41 pm	etc... this one I wrote for a school publication Say Maybe to Hate I was walking through the school yesterday and noticed one of Glass’ signs which read “Homosexuality is not a disease, homophobia is.” While I agree that homosexuality is certainly not a disease, neither is homophobia, and classifying it as such is dangerous. As soon as you classify a personal problem as a disease, you remove individual responsibility. People have never been responsible for having chicken pox, a cold, or rubella, and now were not responsible for gambling, drinking, or homophobia. All of these used to be personal problems, now they have become psychiatric conditions. Just as you are the victim of Ebola, you are suddenly the victim of homophobia or alcoholism. People need to take responsibility for their actions. We use disease so that we can say that it’s not the alcoholic’s fault, the gambler’s fault, or the homophobe’s fault. If we want a person to change herself, she must first realize that it’s her fault for acting like she does, and not the fault of some greater societal influence that deserves the blame. If we don’t take responsibility, why should we make it our responsibility to change? The second problem I had was the motto “Say no to hate.” Don’t get me wrong, I think that hate is horribly destructive and I fully support what Glass is doing. The problem that I have is that the sign asks people to blindly reject hate. Simply saying no doesn’t really change anything; you first need to understand why to say no. The motto should be changed to “Reconsider hate,” “Rethink hate,” or “Say maybe to hate.” At least these mottos encourage people to think about the potential roots of their hatred and hopefully can overcome them. When you garden, you can’t just cut off the top of a weed, you have to pull it out by the roots, the same can be said for hate, just saying no is simply a surface fix, and to remove it by the roots we need to take a deeper look at the basis of our hate. So next time someone tells you to say no to hate, tell them you’ll think about it. Hate, homophobia and racism are all horrible things, but we need to be careful of how we conceptualize them if we want to bring about societal change. Removing these problems is not a simple task, and making it one will only cause them to resurface in more insidious forms. (Comment on this)
4:40 pm	hooray for papers this was a psych assignment, how it's relevent to psych is questionable, but none of AP psych was really relevant to psych. Dystopia An essay by Praetor Aldous of the Morality Committee on the success and effectiveness of current population control tactics Welcome to the state of the demoralized. No more morality exists here. We have removed the need for those pesky little guidelines, those decisions of conscience. We no longer even have a concept of right and wrong among the masses, only happiness and fear, pleasure and pain, a base knowledge that cannot be shattered. Thank you Doctors Pavlov and Skinner. From birth our children are classically conditioned to be attentive. We begin a basic education at six months of age. The children are taken from their mothers and put into the schools. Each child is required to sit in their desk and focus on the teacher, who educates them in basic subjects such as language, colors, and very simple arithmetic. They will be re-taught these things later, because most of it doesn’t stick at such a young age, this however, is not the point. At random intervals throughout the class distracting objects will pass by the windows, or at the sides or back of the room. The nature of the objects varies so as not to condition a fear to any specific thing. When the objects pass by, those children who turn their heads receive a powerful electric shock; we have found this to be quite effective in removing distraction from the classroom. We in fact continue this procedure throughout the children’s schooling. If at any point the children seem to be shifting their attention, the teacher will give them a powerful shock. The result is a generation of highly efficient and well educated workers. To ensure that the children actually learn the material they are being taught in the later grades (1st and on) we have instated a rigorous testing schedule. Those children that perform well on the tests are positively reinforced with candy. Those who don’t do well aren’t so lucky. The teachers beat the students as a form of punishment, and continue beating them until they perform well on a test, and this provides a form of negative reinforcement for the children. The children who performed well on the test are also taught to beat those who fail until the next test. They are rewarded for this action with candy as well. However, those children who beat non-failures are immediately stopped and forced to go without food for several days. The duration of this punishment lengthens for each repeat offense. This seems to solve the problem of generalization, causing the children to discriminate between beating current failures and other students. This activity of beating the deviants in school is carried over to other deviations for social norms and laws. We do this by rewarding the children for beating those who violate school rules, or who choose to deviate from the established norms. This normalizes the children by age twelve ninety percent of the time. The other ten percent will continue being beaten for violations; they will eventually conform, or die. This has generally removed the need for an established legal system. If a law is broken, or discretion made, the other members of the society immediately attack the transgressor, often doing enough damage to temporarily or permanently cripple the violator. They are rewarded for these actions with monetary sums. We have found that there is only one law that needs external enforcement, the censorship regulations. We solve this problem by combining operant and classical conditioning. In their youth, we present the children with people who are speaking against the government, or taking up other censored positions. Those children who pay attention to or are attracted to the speaker are given a powerful electric shock. After multiple trials this creates the desired result of teaching the children to be afraid of those people who are passing uncondoned ideas or information. We also show the children the speaker being beaten; this vicarious learning seems to have a minor effect on the children. Because we teach the children to be afraid of those who are speaking out, we have had trouble teaching the children to attack them. The result is that this particular policy needs to be enforced by greater authorities. Throughout the society we have phones tapped and cameras and microphones planted. Those who are caught making improper speech are immediately tracked down and punished. The punishment varies depending on the severity of the infraction, however it doesn’t stop until the idea is recanted by the violator. Because this crime is so sever, multiple infractions lead to the death penalty. The executions are held in public places and the populace is encouraged to watch. This also vicariously conditions the populace. The societal laws and norms are created by the committee for which I am Praetor, the Morality Committee. We determine what should and should not be allowed based upon governmental needs and what we feel is best for society. Our system has functioned very well so far, and will continue to do so well into the foreseeable future. (Comment on this)
4:38 pm	even more papers this one's a favorite Roberto’s Inferno: A Brief Journey Through Hell “Help me the Muse that is called Argent, I seek thine aide in my Journey through this wretched place. Show to me the tortured souls of man wrought by this state.” And so began my first day of work. Theologians have debated the existence of and nature of Hell for centuries, yet I can safely say that I can bring rest to these questions. Yes, there is a Hell. Yes, it is in Wheeling IL. And yes, it does have smoking breaks. This past summer I was cursed with the duty of spending a little over a week in Hell. I was to undertake a task rarely preformed by Teenagers of the North Shore; I had to perform manual labor. I was going to debate camp in Texas, which is not cheap, and my Father decided that it would be wise for me to pay for a portion of my experience, so off I was sent to work in the acid mines. The first circle of Hell is more of a limbo. It consists of the outer office, the meeting room, the lunch table, and the boss’s office. Here souls work upon devices referred to as computers and telephones. They spend hours per day working upon these fiendish machines, producing invoices and ordering inventory, ensuring that the rest of Hell is in a state of perpetual production. The next circle of Hell is much different. The rest of Hell in fact takes place in this area, the production room. It is our Dis. The air is hot and dry. It remains unconditioned, the only relief the occasional passing by of the rotating fan. The highest ranking demon here goes by the name of Brian (In actuality a very nice man). It is his job to bring you across the river Styx and assign you to your demonic task. He is a great beast, covered in long shaggy hair which reaches down to the middle of his back, plastered with tattoos, and adorning a Harley Davidson shirt of some sort. He has been given the evil title of “Production Manager” and he means to get his job done. He greets quickly and assigns me to my post. The third circle of Hell could only be observed from a distance. It contained two great machines. Here lay the souls who had committed the sin of sloth. They monitored the machines as they ran never ending spools of tape through their gaping mouths to produce Hell’s signature product: “glide tape.” The women here (for with the exception of the two great demons and myself, Hell was composed entirely of women) made sure that the tape constantly ran straight and that the parts were properly attached. When a spool at the end was full it was their job to replace it expediently. This endless labor was accompanied by the horrible noise of the machines. Each machine pounded loudly more than once per second, producing a clamor that could be heard for miles around. And for those at ground zero it was deafening. Even with ear plugs in the noise rattled the brain, driving out the last dregs of sanity and throwing the spirit into madness. The next circle of Hell was the home of the second great demon. This one was much like the first possessing equally long hair, and an even greater number of tattoos. This demon was also covered in horrible patches of scaly skin, which made your eyes hurt jut to behold. It went by the name of Dan (also a very nice guy in reality) and was of the abhorrent title “shipping and inventory clerk.” The name alone puts fear into the heart of men and suggests a demonic origin. Flibbertigibbet himself could evoke no more fear. It was here that Hell’s products were shipped out to the rest of the world. The sixth circle is where I spent most of my time. This is the section known as “packaging.” I was assigned the task of filling endless tiny boxes with various small parts. These parts varied from screws, to locks, to “blind quieters.” The boxes filled counted in the thousands. And each box required a certain number of certain parts. The women in this part of Hell were much faster than I, but I continued in my task none the less. Counting screws is an unimaginably vile task. One must count tiny objects and dump them into boxes, but the screws have pointy tips which constantly poke and prod and pierce the skin. Much like in Dante’s version of hell in which souls were turned into bushes whose branches were constantly broken so that they would bleed, I was constantly given tiny wounds by the screws. Alone these wounds amount to naught, but by the thousands they are unbearable. Yet the worst task of all involved no screws. It involved shoving fourteen pieces of elastic with pieces of plastic attached to them into the boxes. This may not sound so bad, but the boxes were clearly not designed to hold this many strips of elastic. One wrong move could send the strips careening out of the box, forcing me to begin again. To accompany this horrific labor were sounds that must have emanated from the bowels of Satan herself. To those of you who are lucky enough to have never heard a Spanish Polka (Conjunto Music), you should consider yourselves lucky. There is no worse sound in all of reality, with one possible exception. Every once and a while the sound would change, and we would be suffered by another of Hell’s mistresses. We would be assaulted by the wailings of that great succubus, Britney Spears. There is no greater torture than this. My soul was upon a rack of fire and sulfur. The seventh circle of Hell was one reserved only for me. Because I had to pay for a part of my debate camp, all of the money I made went straight to my father. And because my father was in charge of Hell, I never even saw the money. It went straight from his hands to his hands. I never once touched the fruits of my labor. Again it paralleled the Hell envisioned by Dante. In his ninth circle, one’s soul was eaten for eternity by Satan. In my Hell I was forever having my profits eaten by the ruler. My journey ended after little over a week. My time in Hell was short but memorable. I learned of the pains of the manual laborer, a pain I will most likely never again feel. For my journey now continues on to the next plane of existence, Dante called it Purgatory; I call it “Middle Management.” (Comment on this)
4:35 pm	A paper so here is the first of the promised papers, this one seemed best for #1 since it's actually about me: Free Range The first thing you learn in debate, is that no matter how correct your opponent sounds, it’s your job to prove them wrong. Not only that, but you must do it convincingly, which is not an easy task. In my many rounds, I have found that the only way to do this is to be willing to believe what you are saying, a task which can only be achieved by truly believing nothing. This is oft a challenge for first year debaters, who have not yet learned to separate themselves from their truths. They struggle along, trying to engender a debate career out of what they believe. Most of life is nothing more than beliefs. It is out of our beliefs that we shape and mold ourselves. Those who are most firm in their creeds always know exactly how their lives should be lived. My mother, brought up with sixteen years of Catholic education, knows exactly how her life should be lived. If we have an argument, she’s right because she is the parent, and the parent is right. If there’s free time, she knows how to fill it. She knits herself a sweater or a scarf, or searches eBay to expand her collections, ever certain that this is the best way for her to spend her time. I am a rather uncertain person. I rarely know what to do, and have a tendency to default to whatever I find to be the most distracting, which usually involves something electronic. The easiest way to avoid not knowing what to do is to not think about it. I have removed myself from any belief structure I may have ever had. My mind is completely open. I cannot accept anything on face value, simple acquiescence is the ultimate sin. There is no reason to have blind faith in anything that we are told. Simple belief forces me into a life I don’t want to lead. I would rather not be the sheep, herded by the dogs of traditional ideas. I live my life as a free-range mind, unconstrained by certainty. I believe anything only long enough to understand it, so that I can then ridicule and discredit it, adding fuel to my cynicism. I hope to begin forming my own philosophies, originating from my own ideas and opinions. Up to now, most of the philosophies I have encountered have been destructive. Page after page of Foucault and Szasz has only taught me postmodern rejection. Their ideas have helped me see some of the problems in society, and have brought many questions to my mind. Yet, these authors are unable to answer the questions my mind poses. I need to gain my own grasp of the world, building new structures from the jumble of ideas in my head. It is these types of broad social questions that have led me to an interest in political science, and ultimately, law. Debate has given me a cursory look at these categories, and hopefully a greater education will allow me to take a final stance. If you can't tell this essay was at some point altered to be a college app essay, too bad, I liked the original better, even if it was more negative (Comment on this)